BOUNDARIES
IN MARRIAGE
Anti-scriptural Heresy
BELOVED - BEWARE THE "BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE"  BOOK AND TEACHING COURSE!
COLE & TOWNSEND'S GOSPEL - DEMAND YOUR RIGHTS!
WHAT OTHERS HAVE TO SAY --- RUINED MARRIAGES, ETC.
Contrary to what most people are saying about the book, we have heard the other
side of the coin, and it is not pretty.  The Bible has the BEST advice on
marriage - read THAT, and follow it faithfully.
PLEASE ASK GOD ABOUT THAT BOOK,  BEFORE YOU SWALLOW ITS TEACHINGS!
SINCE WHEN?
Bible Prophecy - come to pass in our lifetime! Isn't anybody paying attention to the fulfillment of prophecy that is upon us? There is a lot being fulfilled, but THIS one is specific to the Church.

We were warned! Those of you who are members of the Body of Christ, who are actively  encouraging people to read, study, and put into practice the advice that is promoted in the Boundaries in Marriage book, are in grave danger of harsh chastisement from God's Hand! Come and let us reason together...

Here is the prophecy fulfilled --- The Bible says in II Timothy 3:4 and part of 5  - "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears: and they shall turn away their ears from the truth..." 

The latest fad, craze, rage, whatever you wish to call it, to hit the Christian community is the Boundaries in Marriage teaching. It is nothing short of heresy --- plain and simple. Based on the book of the same title, authored by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, the teaching is a home wrecker. Sorry to break the news to all those of you who are so avidly advocating it, but the very premise of the "Boundaries in Marriage" book is twisted. It serves up a meal of self-centeredness, selfishness, self-protection, and - it must be breaking the Heart of God. 

Those who are passionately espousing the "Boundaries in Marriage" teaching are as enthusiastic about it, as they SHOULD be about the Second Coming. There are many reports of distraught husbands, whose wives have set up unreasonable "boundaries" where none existed before. The husbands say that their wives have become distant, cool, and indifferent to the husbands' role and input on the home or the marriage.

( Read what others have to say about it --- at the bottom of this page. )
IF IT DOESN'T LINE UP WITH THE WORD OF GOD, IT IS A DECEPTION!
Jesus said "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. 

Directly before that He said - "This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you.

In Proverbs 17:9, we are told - "He who covereth a transgression seeketh love...". Look up Proverbs 19:11. There, we are told "The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and IT IS HIS GLORY TO OVERLOOK A TRANSGRESSION."

This selfish "Boundaries in Marriage" teaching that is blasting through the Christian churches, not just in the United States, but worldwide, is TOTALLY opposed to the very Spirit embodied in Jesus Christ.  You don't hear much about the downside of it, but I DO. It is a marriage wrecker!  I am frankly terror-stricken...and very few are speaking out against it.  Most of the references to it online are kudos, kudos, kudos! 

The Christian pastors of America should be dissecting this self-serving hypocrisy with a laser, but instead they tout it from the pulpits, preach it from the podiums, and distribute the workbooks to their 'baa-ing" sheep! 

Is the Church ALWAYS asleep in the light? Are you OUT THERE, Remnant? Have the Watchers on the Wall all dozed off?  Aren't you going to warn your brothers and sisters about the satanic trap they are about to leap into?
HOLD ON A MINUTE! Since WHEN are we commanded to lay down boundaries, which often become ultimatums, to our spouses?  What on earth is the matter with God's people, to swallow this "itching ears" teaching, hook, line, and sinker?  We DO have rights - the right to be a child of the King, because of Jesus' sacrifice for us, the right to claim the promises of God, the right to turn the other cheek, the right to turn away wrath with a soft answer, the right to put OTHERS needs before our own, and the right to eternal life, because we believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.

ISN'T CHRISTIANITY ALL ABOUT DYING TO SELF? Doesn't the Word say, in 1st John 3:16, "Hereby perceive we the love of God, because He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren."

The Word says - LOOK IT UP - I Corinthians 7: 3 & 4 , "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife."  That doesn't sound like we can erect sexual boundaries against our mates to me...does it sound like that to you?

We are WARNED in the Bible, to be aware of the wiles of the devil.  We are told that Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light, and it is no great thing if his ministers also are transformed as ministers of righteousness.

Has anyone bothered to line up this false teaching with the Word of God? Have all of my brothers and sisters in Christ forgotten what the fruits of the Spirit are? Have we ceased to be fruit inspectors?
Since WHEN is our great commission to sit around and examine our belly buttons, and figure out what boundaries we need to set up, so that we remain an individual, and protect our space? Where is it recorded that Jesus taught us to set up boundaries, other than against Satan, sin, and all forms of evil?

It reminds me of the shepherdship or shepherding movement back in the 1980's, another mockery of our role as Warriors in the Kingdom of God. So many people were wounded by THAT doctrine!

More recently, we had "The Prayer of Jabez" (which "everyone" just had to read). Jabez's prayer claimed precedence in a lot of Christians' conversations, over the prayers of Jesus. I had many people tell me how wonderful it was, FAR more than I heard in thrice as many years, about how wonderful the Bible is! We had Christians "praying repetitive prayers", which we were specifically told NOT to do, and there was another swell in the coffers of the publishers, as Christians glutted themselves on the latest "Christian craze".

And now we have..."Boundaries in Marriage", promoted to a narcissistic society that is already divorce-happy. To their shame, those who are supposed to be the Keepers of the Faith are embracing it in a death-grip. May God open His people's eyes, before it is too late!
"What a horribly un-biblical book. It flies in the face of the Genesis and New Testament accounts of marriage. Of course, what else can you expect from these two idiots, who will give "advice" on anything for a buck. I truly hope Cloud/Townsend will be held accountable for all the marriages they have ruined with this book. Shame on them." --- Dean, from Pittsburgh, PA.

"By focusing on the separateness of the two individuals in unifying marriage, this book will only encourage the divisions that it seeks to stop. Claiming a form of biblicalness by referring to biblical passages but missing the biblical model of marriage, they write a book that will harm many a Christian marriage. Their thesis is that many of the post marital problems comes(sic) because Christian couples naively assume that when two become one they will truly be that: one. No, they say, they remain to be two and the only way to keep the troubles out are to define boundaries of each's individuality from the onset.

You hear none of this in the Bible. Rather you read, 'What God has joined together let no man separate.' Marriage is designed by God to be a supernatural unifying to two individuals, much like in the trinity, indeed the best picture of this unity that the world can see. 'Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.' A selfless love by the husband will keep conflicts to a minimum because he leads, not by following his own desires, but by looking out for her best interest. 'Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.'

Rather than saying that our conflicts are because we are rebelliously living outside of God's plan for marriage, 'Boundaries in Marriage' says that we just need to give each other their space. Some of the suggestions are wise and would help to make a more godly marriage, but not because we are honoring each others' individuality, but because they involved thinking of the other." --- Jacob Hantla, Chandler, AZ


"I bought this book after having yet another fight with my husband about the same things. I expected the book to lay out specific techniques I could do myself to help solidify my marriage. Instead, I found myself reading it from my husband's point of view and thinking of all the ways HE could change. The underlying message of the book was good...but the strategies were very vague and did not work for me. I got about halfway through it and decided that I needed to stop reading, because I was actually feeling WORSE after reading each chapter. This book made me look not only at the actual problems that existed in my marriage, but also at things that could happen. This made me obsess about the 'what if's' instead of focusing on changing the few things that actually were problems. My husband and I do not have huge marital troubles, just minor things to work through. After reading this book, I felt like everything was wrong in my marriage. I also found a lot of the authors' points to be contradictory. One minute they say set a boundary to protect yourself, then the next they say don't ever focus on your own happiness. Very confusing. Maybe it was just a bad match for me, but I wouldn't recommend this title. I will continue to look elsewhere for guidance." --- Andrea